Reflection on the past three 'NO-BLOG' weeks...

It has been long since I last blogged... really long ago. Decided to get myself to really post a new entry before the blog becomes obselete. Heh. =P

Thank you to all those who celebrated my birthday 3 weeks ago!!! (Wah... I really 'left' my blog for so long... tsk tsk...) Since I came to Singapore 9 years ago, I never had anything like birthday parties or big-scaled celebrations so very much my birthdays were just like any other day. This year was very special though. My birthday was so so so full of surprises!!! It was really a day when I was so happy throughout (actually spilled over to the next day also coz' the surprises still keep coming the following day. Haha!) There was much joy flowing out of me this time round, and I just wanna thank God for making my day so memorable! A big THANK YOU to all those who gave me surprises that day and celebrated my birthday with me! ('Interestingly', my birthday ended with an overnight project meeting in school... preparing presentation on the very next day. Diao!)

Hmm let me check what else I could blog here... It has been 3 weeks! Man! Too long a lag and now for me to backlog... tsk tsk tsk... Well, for the past 2-3 weeks I went through a time more tough and difficult than ever before. Firstly, I found myself struggling in handling my academic workload (coz' I am taking 6 full-credit modules this term!) and have not been able to give my best to the projects, assignments and tests. I also kept 'breaking promises', delayed in finishing my parts in the group projects on time in order to move them forward, which was one thing I found most frustrating and disappointing this term. Running from one project meeting to another, staying overnight in school again and again... man, this term has been really demanding, but I thank God that it's ending soon (actually not that soon coz' I still have business study mission... but nevermind, at least I can travel out of Singapore. Heh.)

Secondly, I was confronted by the realisation that I am at a crossroad junction right now, one that I need to make sure that I choose the right path to move on. Okay, think I really made it sound very vague here. Well, my course bidding started 2 weeks ago, and suddenly I realised that I could actually graduate from SMU much earlier than I thought. I only left 6 more full credits to go. My original plan was to stay in SMU for 4 full years and study extra courses to learn more. However, I was shocked (and disappointed) to know that my Tuition Grant will no longer apply once I fulfill all the course requirements and be put in the graduation list. On one hand I was wondering if I should graduate early, since if I graduate early I would be able to get a one-year career head start ahead of most of my cohort. On the other hand, I felt rather 'burnt out' this term (due to the exceptional 6 full-credit modules) and I thought it won't be wise for me to rush and take so many courses in a term again! On top of all these I was also considering doing an international exchange programme next fall, planning to go to Israel. Of course, I am still trying to find out if it is indeed the right season for me to go there for such a long period of time, away from Singapore. Right now I am getting a clearer and clearer picture in terms of the module distribution over the terms (decided to reduce my workload next term to 4 to allow myself to recover and focus), but I still do not have any clue if it is okay for me to go for the exchange...

Thirdly, I am also faced with matters related to my spiritual walk with my God. Probably due to the fact that I felt so tired and frustrated over things (including financial difficulties which I am facing almost for the whole month), I realised I really need God more than ever, and there is still a long way for me to go. I wept many times this month, and a CHC cell group leader in SMU accurately told me that I have lost the joy of the Lord, which is the source of strength, just before Pst Ulf changed the whole Service 4 two weeks ago and mentioned that somebody in the church auditorium has lost the joy of the Lord... Never had I imagined that God would prepare this to get me to rededicate myself to Him once again! Also it is in this month that Pst Kong taught us in the Churchwide Bible Seminar on the Tabernacle, and beyond all the knowledge and wisdom learnt during the 4-part series, God spoke to me gently in the last session and asked me to really 'seek Him', that if I do so, I will find the answers to many many questions that I have been asking and pondering and wondering, and I will grow much more in Him...

So many times this month I wished that I did not need to go through all the concerns in this world, and could come to His presence and stayed in His house and refuge... God is truly amazing. He is indeed all-knowing, controlling everything. I thank God for giving me a purpose to live for, visions to see and ability to dream. He sustained me through this period of time, and slowly I have also realised, what I have been praying for is indeed coming true... my capacity has increased and is still increasing. I know He is preparing many great things for me and I can't wait to see them come to pass in the near future!!! =D

A New Anniversary, A Renewed Wish

Time flies. It is the time again for me to celebrate the faithfulness of God in my life since the day He gave me that breath of life. Yup, there goes 21 full years and I thank God it is still counting! =)

This evening a friend of mine from both my university and my church asked me what my wish is this time round. I thought for a while, and this is my wish for the next 365 days... kinda like a renewed wish:

I pray that I will have more strength and wisdom from my Heavenly Father, to know how to fulfill the purpose He has destined for my life.

Simple and straightforward, haha. I never really managed to summarise my 'wish' so effectively. Hope this covers all my desires, visions and dreams, in a nutshell. Haha! =D